- Could I learn to become more assertive?
There are many people who are curious to learn as much as they can about assertiveness. Did you know it's actually one of the most popular personal development topics that is searched on the Internet.
The video clip below, offers a wonderfully clear and simple explanation of what it means to be assertive - and how to cultivate the right type of thinking that will support the development of assertive behaviour.
Assertiveness is often defined as the ability to stand up for your rights in a way that does not infringe the rights of others. Being assertive is the ability to communicate your opinions, needs and ideas in a confident and direct manner. It's also about being willing to ask for what you want
By the way, here's how the Oxford dictionary defines assertiveness ...
Assertiveness is not being aggressive
Although being assertive and being aggressive both involve expressing what your needs and opinions may be, there are some significant differences in the way with which this is done.
These differences include the words that are used, the tone that is taken, and the body language that accompanies the communication. The aggressive approach is quite demanding and sometimes even intimidating - whereas the assertive approach whilst being firm, is much more willing to listen and discuss the issue with the other party.
The assertive style can be persistent, but is willing to compromise if a fair resolution can be found - whereas the aggressive style tends to be inflexible and controlling, wanting everything their way.
Assertiveness and choice
With a clear understanding of what is assertiveness, and as you develop more of your assertiveness capability - then you gain the freedom to choose how you will respond to difficult people or challenging situations. There will be times when you might choose to confront an issue, and there will be other times when you may choose to walk away from an issue - BUT walking away no longer through fear, but through choice.
How to change?
Changing the way you behave will often also require that you change the way you think. You will need to cultivate a positive attitude and belief that you can achieve the changes that you desire, if you are going to be able to persevere - because the change will not happen immediately, But with effort, practice and reflection then have no doubt you can become more assertive in your life. You might find some useful tips on having the right attitude at Positive Thinking
Assertiveness & Saying No
Another aspect to assertiveness is being able to set boundaries with demanding people. This means being able to say no to unreasonable requests that others make of you. There are many people who have trouble saying no, and consequently often find that they can be taken advantage of. This short video offers same great points on this theme
You might also find some useful tips at Building Self-confidence
Brian Carroll is the founder of Performance Development, a management training company in Melbourne, Australia. He is a qualified psychologist, experienced management coach and an engaging presenter, with a passion for helping people develop their full capabilities. You can find out more about Brian at his Google + profile